....Um..Ok...so I Went...To the Concert.

Alright so I went and it was quite the experience. First off the concert was held at the Depot downtown and thanks to Utah's wonderful clean air act...no smoking in private clubs, deep breath ahhhh. After circling the club many times trying find a seat we decided to stand on the lower level but we did have a good view of the stage. I couldn't help noticing the crowd. Lots of guys dressed like Willy Wonka, a couple of various animals, two cowboys, one 70's pimp, and a partridge in a pear tree. I was seriously confused why people were dressed like that but then I had never seen Les Claypool before. So back to waiting for the show to begin. The opening band, "The Secret Thiefs featuring Soul Williams", came out in capes, old hockey pads and glitter make-up. Yes I said glitter make up. This group began with loud synthesized drumbeats while the lead singer shouted gibberish and short phrases at us. The crowd didn't know what to make of it. Everyone just stared at them. The member who was supposed to be on drums pounded away like a four year old trying to get a round peg in a square hole on a nerdy little drum machine. The keyboardist, dressed in a cape and with one finger changed from one pre-recorded tune to the next. It was all quite sad. After forty minutes of complete lameness they were finally off the stage.

At last Les and his group of faceless tuxedo band members came on stage. It was an unusual mix of instruments complete with a cello, xylophone, drums, and or course Les on the bass guitar. All at once I realized why people were dressed up. Les was dressed like a 1910 snake oil salesman. Through out the show he changed his mask from a pig to a monkey to even Elvis. The music was upbeat and fun and I enjoyed that part of the evening very much. The part that was hard was standing in one place for over 3 hours and the growing number of drunk adults and their stupid behavior. Baron and I both got hit on....by girls. I got my butt grabbed twice by the same girl and Baron got hit on by a drunk girl standing next to him. Try to imagine Baron intensely concentrating on the music and the talent he was witnessing when Ms. Drunkipants bumps into him and in a slurred voice says, "Hiiiii, how's it goooing?" Baron replies shortly, "Fine." Drunkipants then says, "Greeaaat shhhhow huh?" Another short, "Yeah." Then she looks down at her empty hand and says to Baron, "I dropped my first drink." She then looks at her other hand and realizes she is holding another drink and looks up with a goofy smile then says, "But I have another one." Wow what a catch you've got there Baron. I just laughed and told him to go for it which was encountered by a roll of his eyes. By the last half hour my feet were hurting and the crowd was getting drunk and annoying. Someone in front of me had beer and pickle burps, yuck! So after the second encore song we started to head out finally! I was beat! It was an interesting experience but I don't think I will ever go to a concert again unless it is Disney on Ice.

Baron's 2¢
Wow....what can i possibly say to describe the creative genius know as Les Claypool. Before we get into that, lets dispense with the unpleasantries. The opening band, if you can call them a "band", was more of a testament to the fact that you can't cover up lack of musical ability with weirdness and expect no one to notice. But suffering through this goulash of random sound bites and drum beats was worth it in the end. The last time i saw Les Claypool was in 1993 at Lollapalooza when he was still the lead man of the band "Primus". I must say that since then he has only improved in both skill and creativity. Needless to say Les goes against everything you've come to expect from a bass player. Traditionally the bass guitar has always been a support instrument creating the steady background for the rest of the band to build on. Les contradicts this stigma by making the bass guitar the primary driving force in his music. His unorthadox style can only be truly appreciated by listening to his music and seeing his unique on-stage prescence. Continuing in his quest to defy stereotypes, Les has surrounded himself with an unlikely set of compatriots. In the place of a guitarist and a keyboardist, he has a cellist and a rambunctious percussionist that bounced from xylophone to vibraphone to a wide assortment of other toys and drums. Combined with another stellar drummer on a traditional drum kit this quartet has a very fun and original sound. The foursome did not disappoint to say the least, every song was intriguing and fresh. One cannot help but bob their head as they are drawn into the groove. Mr. Claypool's new album "Of Fungi And Foe" comes out on March 17th, I recommend going out to iTunes to listen to a few of the 30 second samples to get a feeling of this off-breed sound. All in all i thuroughly enjoyed the evening despite the disappointment of the opening act. My thanks go out to X96 for providing the free tickets.